John Martyn passes

John Martyn passed today. He will be greatly missed by many and was a major music influence for me. I saw him live just a few months ago and he was fantastic!

I first saw him in the 1970s and here is a clip from that era

Watch C4 Tomorrow at 7.55pm

Tomorrow at 7.55pm "My Amersham" is being shown on C4.

I supplied the music for this excellent film short

NLP, moving pictures and marketing

In NLP we often talk about the impact of moving pictures and how these are quite different to still pictures. It occured to me a while ago that it would make sense for me to add video clips on my private practice website to illustrate some of the many conditions I have treated.

A bunch of them can be found here

http://www.nickkemp.com/videos.php?video=id10

Eliciting client information

One of the biggest mistakes made by NLP Practitioners and therapists is to engage in client sessions, without first eliciting appropriate information. In NLP we call this "mindreading" and of course this kind of oversight usually results in not producing a useful outcome for the client.

As well as talking to all clients prior to any agreed sessions, I also request the completion of a full set of client notes. This ensures that I obtain proper and appropriate information that allow me to determine "how the client is creating and maintaining" the problem. Key questions to ask any clients are

"What do you want?"

"How will you know when you have it?"

Obsessions and “mindreading” in group communications

A few years ago I wrote an article for an online NLP newsletter titled “Into the Internut”. I felt compelled to write about my own experiences after experiencing online cyber stalking. In the article I pointed out how often people would frequently fall into the habit of “mindreading” in their communications, where a person is certain that they actually know what the other person thinks!
This kind of behavior produces all manner of miscommunications and altercations between individuals. The controversial article written in 2004 referenced a number of NLP newsgroups and received a huge response from individuals complaining that I was in some way making fun of this particular group of people and that I should certainly be reprimanded for having such (and even worse, voicing such) views! Many other individuals thought the article very funny and I received a number of e-mails congratulating me on writing about this subject. I also confess that I was (and will continue to engage in) making fun of this type of nonsense which is not only embarrassing but also creates a dreadful impression of the field of NLP as a whole.

Many people who know me from running NLP workshops don’t realize that I have a history of running international events as far back in time as 1982 and have taught many different forms of personal development which resulted in creating the Human Alchemy series of CDs and later The Art of Good Fortune workshops. As well as my public events I have for years run private invitation only events for more advanced students I work with. This experience has made me very aware of group dynamics and those individuals who prize status and “belonging to a club” above all other issues.

In 2004 I began to realize that becoming more in the public spotlight attracts all manner of attention, some productive, some less so. I had heard of celebrity stalking (and I would in no way describe myself as, nor would want to be “a celebrity) but didn’t yet fully realize how obsessed some people could be with other people’s behaviour. On one NLP newsgroup I actually had a couple of individuals enthusiastically post up to 200 negative posts each month, totally certain that I had a series of online alias’s and fully determined to reveal any and all supposed imagined wrongdoings. One of the main characters (such people are always anonymous, so “characters” is an appropriate term in this context) had a series of previous fixations with Scientology and Christianity and the other character chose to name himself after a popular brand of clothing! Both were convinced that if number of individuals used the same internet connection, all such communications must of course be one single person. Of course there is little point in even discussing such matters when people are so totally convinced of their own beliefs…

I later found out that such obsessive behavior is common for those people whose whole lives literally revolve around “a virtual cyber existence”. With the advent of the internet age this can and often is a 24 hour a day preoccupation. Interestingly I have seen clients in private practice who also exhibit exact such behaviours with many becoming quite paranoid in their imaginings about what they believe others “are doing” which fills their every waking moment.
Many posters online will obsess about what “they imagine” is taking place on newsgroups and forums and will frequently polarise into a “pack like mentality” where any challenging of the status quo or party line is met with a great deal of aggression and negativity. On one NLP forum hysterically the owner of the site added a “thumbs up, thumbs down” facility so in the great Roman tradition the pack could make their views plain without reverting to any actual discussion.

Such behaviour is also wonderfully described by my good friend Andrew T Austin as “whooping” The same Austin also coined the immortal term to describe this group as “happy clappers” Many such people then become “seminar junkies” spending as much time as possible (financially and time wise) in attending endless self improvement workshops to the extent that their whole world becomes centred on interacting with people who reinforce the group mindset. These individuals often become disconnected from everyday living and quite “Walter Mitty” like in their interactions with others, often hugely exaggerating their experiences in life in an attempt to impress others.

Such people desperately want to belong to any club that will have them as a member and yearn for an imagined improved status in life. The rise of Facebook and other such social networking sites is another indication of people wanting to “belong” to a group of some sort. Another example of “wanting to belong” is the obsession with qualifications and there are even examples of such people fabricating qualifications where they hugely exaggerate their own skill level and experience in life, to almost comical effect. I sat in a workshop once where such an example was of a trainer making ever more exaggerated claims to the audience including claiming to have trained an entire Olympic team of athletes!

This kind of behaviour also often results in claiming and/or owning other people’s experiences, and claiming other people’s experiences to the extent of actually telling other people’s life stories claiming them as their own! This kind of behaviour produces a kind of urban folk law that that then forms the basis of a group belief that forms the basis for entry to “the club” that would admit them as a member. These groups are especially prevalent on the World Wide Web and it’s not uncommon for individuals to spend hundreds of hours defending the group’s beliefs in a manner often reminiscent of the “Emperor’s New Clothes” story, where every action is spun to have some greater meaning and where personality worship eclipses personal discrimination. Such obsessions are commonplace in cults where the leader can literally do no wrong in the eyes of followers!

There are fortunately some excellent NLP Trainers and Practitioners and I count myself very lucky to know and co train with many of them. These individuals all have a good sense of humour, an interest in continued learning and development and a real creative ability. Many quietly go about their business running smaller numbered skills based trainings.

Just a few Sunday thoughts...

www.nickkemp.com

A great quote

I especially like this quote

"There comes a time in every man's life when he must roll up his sleeves, raise the black flag, and commence cutting throats."

H. L. Mencken

Barristers, NLP and use of language

I am in the middle of watching the BBC series "Barristers" which is proving quite fascinating as it demonstrates how use of language, tonality and strategic thinking are crucial in communication. Next week I am discussing running a series of trainings for a very established legal concern working with fee earners. I have always been interested in the legal arena and how well constructed arguments can be made.

I have noticed that although many people may have "attended NLP trainings", few people then actually really embrace and integrate the linguistic skills fully to be able to demonstrate a true capability in this area. I am frequently amazed by the amount of generalisations made in online interactions and how often individuals can begin a discussion without really checking for such "genera LIES ations"

I am similarly surprised by how some NLPers and even trainers don't really pay attention to their use of modal operators in communications and in recent times was on the receiving end of a series of e-mails from an individual who kept suggesting that I "need to do..." which in this instance was especially well received!
Skilled communicators have a true grasp of how to use these linguistic elements and are constantly developing these skills.

www.nickkemp.com

Excellence in NLP Online?

NLP has often been described as modelling excellence. This may be true for some areas of life but certainly on the internet there is IMO scant evidence for this suggestion...

Most websites for Practitioners and training concerns are dreadfully designed with poor or no photos, links that don't work and are frequently little more than a series of adverts all displaying exact same testimonials proclaiming them to be "Master of XYZ!" Common mistakes include not using a professional designer and not checking the final copy before the site is launched.

In a recent business training for NLP, I showed the delegates a series of NLP websites that were well placed on Google to see what trhey thought. They were very surprised at the poor content and design elements, which were often very unclear and misleading. Worse still were many of the online forums which in many instances become little more than a mutual congradulation facility!

In designing www.nickkemp.com I employed a professional photographer and web designer to ensure that the site is easy to navigate and easy to find on the net. Running a website, like any business is an ongoing activity which requires a real investment in both time and money.

Best Album of all time?

I first bought Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks on vinyl back in 1974 when it was released and and 24 years later I still consider it one of the all time great musical releases.

Each song tells a great story and as with many great albums including Neil Young's Tonight's the Night (also from a similar period) it seems that a tortured artist often produces his or her best work.

www.nickkemp.com

And the 14th day was a day of rest!

After running trainings and seeing clients non stop for 14 days, today is a day of rest! January 2009 has started with a bang and although I'm not running the standard NLP trainings, I have far more going on and for me far more interesting projects which will take me all over the globe.

I am also refining and focussing on tuning up the Provocative Change Works approach material. A recent day's training on working in therapy was very useful in helping me clarify the key elements of this approach and throughout 2009 I will be teaching this to the public for the first time.

However this weekend is work free (apart from blogging) and time to try out a new VHT and Egnater power and pre amp combination in the studio. These are literally the best units for getting great guitar sounds and rare as hell to obtain!

www.nickkemp.com

Inspirations

Today I have the great fortune to have a guitar lesson with one of the world's greatest guitar players, Martin Simpson. Even better I got to listen to some demos of his new CD, which are absolutely amazing.
I have noticed that many of the best trainers I have come across are also musicians and can't help but wonder if this is a pattern...

www.nickkemp.com

Business applications day with NLP

Today was interesting as I discovered that I was running an entire day's NLP in business training with 5 minutes notice! Fortunately I have extensive material from working in the corporate sector, so I could easily sequence a day's material to suit the group.

This was a very good group who had already completed NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner trainings. We explored identifying and creating expectational sets, the power of marketing on the internet and the use of language in sales.

www.nickkemp.com

How to choose an NLP Practitioner or Hypnotherapist

I often get asked for advice on how to best choose an NLP Practitioner or Hypnotherapist.

This article discusses the various aspects of this and this article is simply a personal view based on my observations and feedback from seeing hundreds of clients each year in my private practice.

Many clients come to me having previously seen other practitioners and therapists without "success", and come to me saying that, in their opinion, I am their "last hope", which whilst flattering is not necessarily a useful, or indeed accurate, belief for the client to hold!

Although the non-main stream or "allied" professions are becoming more regulated in recent (and coming) years, there is still the frustrating experience of those who judge the entire profession by their contact with those less than able practitioners. This then means that some members of the public have a non representative experience which reflects on and impacts upon all subsequent professionals in that particular field. Reassuringly, this is the same for all professions everywhere, not just NLP Practitioners and Hypnotherapists, so we are not alone in this! In the best interests of everyone, it is important to be able to demonstrate an ability to practice effectively and in a manner which is in line with appropriate professional and public expectations.

I'll start this article by discussing qualifications and experience. For those reading this that want a simple check list on what to look out for when choosing a practitioner or hypnotherapist, skip to "A check list for deciding who to see"

Qualification and Experience
Anyone can call themselves a Hypnotherapist or NLP Practitioner and there are no agreed uniform standards for training. In the world of NLP there are numerous diverse schools of training, many of which can be very territorial in their views as to what constitutes "proper professional training" This means that NLP Practitioners come in all shapes and sizes!

An "NLP Practitioner" can have received as little as just seven days training which, in my opinion, although this can be a useful introduction to NLP, such a short training certainly does not equip such an individual to begin working with paying clients. It's also useful to remind ourselves that certifications in NLP are only really recognized by the body or school that provides the certifications. Many NLP trainers may have an excellent understanding of NLP skills, but have never actually run a private practice and applied NLP in this situation and therefore simply are not in my opinion equipped to train other individuals to work in this way.

Some NLP trainings may also have very large groups and any "certification" is essentially a record of attendance and little else. Some NLP training schools will literally allow students to write any testimonial that they want or provide an exact word for word testimonial for each and every student that pays to attend a course. Certifications also can become relabeled as "qualifications" which can also be misleading for the public and some NLP practitioners enthusiastically list endless certifications to impress potential clients

The rest of this article can be found at

http://www.nickkemp.com/how-to-choose-an-nlp-practitioner-or-hypnotherapist.php

Pre NLP, Frank Farrelly in 1972

I spent a large part of today looking at archive material from Frank Farrelly, including the original written manuscript of "Provocative Therapy" Among the material is a newspaper article from 1972, showing just how far ahead of his time Frank was and why the creators of NLP had him firmly on their radar!

www.nickkemp.com

Cold, cold, cold...

The weather reminded me of this Loudon song

Business applications with NLP

Next weekend I am running a day on the use of NLP in buiness. I have noticed that in the last 5 years many people taking NLP courses can have wholly unrealistic beliefs (often encouraged by the trainers) that they can attend an NLP training to then subsequently pack in the day job to become "an NLPer!"

The reality is that few people who train in NLP earn a good living from it and a lot of the time is that they have not developed "good business sense". Last year I met someone who had quit the corporate sector to attend endless NLP courses which a view to becomng a life coach and within 5 minutes it was clear to me that this person was seriously deluded and had not paid attantion to basic business considerations. Worse still they had dreadful rapport building skills and often came over as quite aggressive in their communications.

In the era of the credit crunch there has never been a more important time to clearly flag up the reasons for customers to come to your business as opposed to your competitors. Here are some basic questions to consider

What do you have to offer customers that is going to get you on their radar?

What makes you stand out from the competition?

How many different ways can people hear about your business?

Many NLPers (and of course others)often forget to ask these and other basic questions!

However the NLP skill set has much to offer business, when properly applied. Any sales or marketing person would benefit greatly from developing a greater awareness of language and state control and my own experience of running trainings for businesses is that this element is often missing...

www.nickkemptraining.com

Old NLP Tapes

This weekend I started a process of backing up old NLP cassette tapes onto hard drives in the studio. Some of these date back to the late 1970s and the quality is at best variable...

One particular set of live tapes from one the household names in NLP has so much tape hiss that I am amazed that it was ever released as a commercial product. I always wondered that is NLP was the study of excellence, why so many websites and products were of such terible quality, when with a little bit of care, they could be so much better!

Interestingly IMO the most useful material is not old RB stuff, but rather from other trainers from the Santa Cruz ensemble and of course it will be much easier to listen to on an ipod that on cassette!

www.nickkemp.com

Busiest month to date

I just checked my diary nd Jan 2009 is now offcially the busiest month ever, with record requests for private sessions. Its good to see that all the hard work in building delivery systems so people can hear about my practice is working so well. This Sunday I will discussing some of my approaches for building a successful business at the one day Business Applications event in Leeds UK

Some people are surprised that I don't see any people for stopping smoking or for weight loss issues, instead working mostly with psychological issues.

www.nickkemp.com

Its 2009, so far, so good!

Blimey, 2008 passed in a flash and now its 2009, supposedly the year of the credit crunch. My prediction that NLP courses will be on the wane is proving to be correct as people hold on more to their money.
Its going to be a very different year with lots of new net based projects and new collaborations with really skilled individuals whom I have wanted to work with for a number of years. One of these will be the "Stories from the Outside Inn" project with Doug O Brien which will launch in a few months time!

www.nickkemp.com